can see all the colors in the world. Sometimes we can get trapped in ‘reality.’ But I i’ve realized that leaving the black and white part of the world is the only way I can stay sane.
Maybe it’s just how I’ve coped my entire life.. but I’m a daydreamer. And when a dreamer stops dreaming the thorns on roses are sharper, the colors are duller, and people all talk like Ben Stein.
I’ve tried to assimilate. To live a ‘normal’ life with limited self expression. But it’s not working. It’s never worked. It probably never will work.
So I guess I’m all in.
sometimes you know you’ve been doing the same things for too long. every time you look up it feels like you’ve been here before . .too many times. and it sucks.
but moving on from . . relationships that had once been so great. from friendships that once glued you together is so hard. there are so many ridiculous cliches that could explain what im saying. but what it boils down to is . .
if you are trapped in a negative cycle that always repeats itself and you end up in the same unhappy place … you simply have to cut the cord
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . .
if we’re not growing, we aren’t really living
To be unique is to be never understood. To be unique is to be alone. You are the only person in the world who can be you, so you have to do it all by yourself. Everyone else will make you something else.
all these rules we have really screw us up. A lot of people care a lot about being positive in their expression. Sometimes it’s the people who are able to express the negative that really bring things out of us.. because things truly aren’t always fine, sugary, and dandy.
So the question is, who on the outside REALLY knows who we are or what we are really feeling. It’s all just a game, a game to try to get an expected result we want out of a situation(s).
We want people to like us, we want people to want to stay near. Because without some sort of connection what do we really have? In the end, probably nothing substantial or of worth. And how are we living if our thoughts always stay the same? We wake up and realize we havn’t learned ANYTHING.
Truth : We are what we think and we are not always what we express.
Aren’t there people in your life you wish you could express truth too? Or will we merely continue to sit here afraid of what the future brings?
I realize that things don’t always have to be perfect. You just have truly be you 110pct of the time.
Or else we will never grow beyond this.
I messed up. My approach to this has been totally f’d. This is not who I am … Or who I want to be.
I’m sorry.
This song is a song I recorded with my old band Like Dolls.. about three years ago this month. I saw those guys yesterday and reminded me that those days were some of the best of my life.
So here is this song. It’s me and Dan splitting vox (as we always did). I hope you enjoy.
This is something old I wrote a long time ago. Kind of dark … hope you enjoy.
hard to find the reason why
i had to go and leave you there
transparent eyes are all I had to share
hard to figure out the way
i felt when I first saw her face
but now I know nothing but
my own fear and vain
cause I push you away
and i lost my head playing my own games
all these lights
that used to shine so bright
i should be shamed
to leave it all to waste
hard pressed to see the day the stars align
to put me in my place
all the people say
kharma works that way,
hard to notice all the feelings we discard
in ashtrays, in our living rooms
the place we used to share our love and joy
cause I pushed you away
and i lost my head playing my own games
all these lights
that used to shine so bright
i should be shamed
to leave it all to waste
hard to say I’m sorry for
all the crimes that i’ll commit
and hopes that i’ll destroy along the way
hard to feel the softness of the love
she used to share with me
i should be shamed
to leave it all to waste
